What Is Family Dispute Mediation?
Family dispute mediation or family dispute resolution as it is more formally known in the family law sphere, is a form of alternative dispute resolution. Alternative to what exactly? Court and/or negotiation via lawyers.
Family dispute mediation seeks to have parties resolve issues collaboratively rather than use the court’s time in an adversarial resolution process.
How Family Dispute Mediation Works
Family dispute resolution works in a very straightforward way. The parties contact a mediator who has a short conversation to ensure mediation is suitable for the situation. Sometimes it isn’t, such as when family and domestic violence are issues, a party in the dispute is unwilling to mediate, or there are mental or physical health concerns.
Once family mediation is decided upon the mediator (or family dispute resolution practitioner, more formally) has a 60-90 minute meeting with the parties individually. This intake session is used to find out as much about the party, their children, and their situation as possible. The mediator wants to know what issues are in dispute, the relationship history, the details and wishes of the children impacted, and all the details that help to really get to understand the situation.
Once intake is complete the mediation session can begin. The mediation is framed around the fundamental concepts of working collaboratively and in the best interests of the children. With these ideas in mind the clients involved control the content to be worked through while the family mediator controls the process. The mediator is in charge and won’t allow issues between the parties to have a negative impact on the mediation.
The clients bring up concerns, find common ground, consider possibilities and through the ebb and flow of negotiation, suggestions, reality testing, and questioning will likely come to an agreement that works well for all parties involved, with children of course the top priority.
What if Mediation Doesn’t Work?
Using family dispute mediation services to work through concerns is a positive step however sometimes family mediation simply doesn’t work. This means the issues are still alive. As such there are options. The couple can attempt mediation again having had time to settle and reflect. They can decide to negotiate through their respective lawyers. This can be very time consuming and costly and will likely be reaching an agreement that has been proposed rather than collaborated on. The third option is court. Going to the Family Court is a time consuming and expensive process. It’s also disempowering as the decision making is removed from the parties in conflict. A judge will make a decision following an adversarial court case where lawyers are able to question and cross examine all involved. Quite honestly, it’s a tough process that can do irreparable harm to those involved.
At Resolutions Australia we stress the importance of resolving issues as soon as possible, as collaboratively as possible, and at the lowest possible level, family mediation.
Types of Family Disputes That Can Be Resolved Through Mediation
Almost any issue can be resolved through family dispute resolution. The process has breadth and depth and allows for the examination and resolution of most issues arising from the divorce process.
Parenting and Child Custody Disputes
The most common disputes resolved via family mediation are those involving parenting and the organisation of time and logistics for children to maintain a relationship with both parents. Family dispute resolution practitioners use the term ‘Parenting Plan’ for the type of agreement reached in this area.
For the Present…
One type of parenting plan may be for the easy management of parenting time in the present. It may include timings, hand overs, what to do if health issues arise, getting schooling updates, what to do for birthdays or special occasions. Real nuts and bolts detail that can help ensure all contingencies are addressed and catered for to help ensure the family’s new normal runs as smoothly as possible.
These plans take potential emotional flashpoints out of the situation. The parties attend to the plan rather than each other during the early days of a family split and the plan helps ensure the focus remains on the children impacted.
And the Future.
Developing Parenting Plans for the longer term is always advised by Resolutions Australia. The shorter, more immediate plan is in place but what of the years ahead?
A longer term plan has parties examine broader concerns such as school choices, what happens if a parent wishes to move a significant distance for work, how best the parents will communicate, how the parents will address the changing needs of their children, how growing children will have more of a say in how they are parented, how traumatic issues will be handled, what to do if harmful behaviours arise. A potentially endless list, narrowed by what the parties believe is most relevant for their situation moving forward.
Property and Financial Disputes
Aside from Parenting Plans it is financial and property agreements that are most commonly developed.
With a changed family situation the parents impacted need to make decisions regarding the assets and earnings the family have and how these will be divided to, once again, ensure the best interests of the children impacted are prioritised.
Who stays in the family home? Does it get sold? What percentage of the money does each party receive? What are the current and future parenting costs of the children? How will school fees be paid? What about the cost of a high school excursion? What about possessions? Sentimental value or actual value?
Financial and property disputes require full disclosure of assets and liabilities and a recognition that the children are top priority.
Extended Family Disputes
While family mediation services usually work with parents they also regularly have opportunities to work with extended families. With the children impacted possibly living in a multigenerational home, with grandparents, fostered with aunts and uncles etc it’s often not just the parents who play a significant role in parenting. Couple this with the simple joys children have of regular visits with extended family members or extended family helping with day to day care such as school pick-ups, or dropping kids off for sporting events, and all of a sudden there comes the realisation that the best interests of the children may well involve an ongoing positive relationship with their extended family. This can be especially so with different cultural and ethnic groups with an interdependent view of family life.
These issues may be mediated via the parents based on the ideas raised by extended family members or, depending on the family circumstances, may be worked through with the extended family members directly.
Child Support and Financial Agreements
It is crucial for family mediation clients to remember that just because various government departments can support their needs it does not mean they have to engage with them. One area of misinformation involves organising child support arrangements. A divorcing couple is more than welcome to develop their own financial agreement in this regard. At Resolutions Australia we encourage this as it saves a significant amount of time, has inbuilt structures relevant to the particular couple, and has the flexibility to recognise and deal with changing circumstances specific to the family.
The separating couple can navigate health, school, hobby costs etc. When money will change hands, pinch points on the calendar, Christmas and birthday expenses, how to tackle unexpected expenses as well as the numerous other unexpected costs that can crop up during a childhood.
By mediating the parents will avoid what is essentially a bureaucratic exercise, depersonalised and cold. And sadly, often becoming adversarial once the order is made.
The X Factor
At Resolutions Australia we’re constantly hearing feedback about parents having urgent court hearings to resolve disputes due to a sudden event in an impacted child’s life. A 16 wanting to tandem skydive and one parent is against it, a 17 year old child refusing to attend church and the other parent lets them, debating the timing and pathway to get a driver’s license, Dad buying dirt bikes and Mum being horrified.
The question we ask all too often is “Does this really need court?” The cost of a lawyer, the urgency of a hearing, a judge’s time.
These situations will of course crop up over the course of a childhood. They can be mediated as they occur or they can be addressed using a long term parenting plan. Either way, they shouldn’t go to court!
Benefits of Mediation for Family Disputes in Australia?
There are a number of significant benefits to family mediation.
The cost of mediation is significantly lower than a court hearing or negotiating through lawyers. Family mediation is much more timely. A mediation session, including intake, can usually be completed in a week or two. Intake up to 90 minutes, standard mediation about four hours. Family mediation maintains the parties as the experts on their children and their best interests. It encourages, indeed expects, collaboration. It is not adversarial as other methods are. Family mediation is confidential unlike the Family Court. The parties make the choices and the decisions rather than a judge. The emotional fallout from family mediation is significantly less than negotiating via lawyers or fighting in court where the process of reaching agreement becomes a battle with few winners.
Choosing the Right Family Mediation Service
As you can see from the above it’s not just a wide range of disputes that can be dealt with via family mediation but a wide range with each type of issue having great breadth.
In recognising this Resolutions Australia has deliberately set out to provide family mediation services that encompass this wide breadth. In short, we have the experience and wisdom to help clients navigate their unique circumstances. It is this uniqueness and the individual stories each and every client brings to family mediation that inspires and enthuses us each and every day.
If you’re seeking a family mediator who understands how special you and your situation is and who’ll give you the time and energy to outline your concerns your way then we urge you to get in touch with Resolutions Australia!
