Family mediation is an important part of the separation and divorce process. It can be undertaken for a number of reasons, including developing a parenting plan or creating a financial and/or property agreement.
Family mediation supports resolving issues at the earliest, lowest-conflict point. It mitigates the need to negotiate between lawyers or seek a Family Court hearing.
Knowing how to prepare for family mediation is essential. At Resolutions Australia we walk our clients through this process purposefully and collaboratively, as part of our family mediation services across Australia.
How to Prepare for Family Mediation in 5 Steps?
Your family mediator guides you through each step, and our family mediation services are built around making this preparation simple. Preparing well is the single best thing you can do for a calm, productive session.
The five steps below walk you through everything from understanding the process to knowing what happens after it’s done.
Step 1: Understand the Family Mediation Process Before You Begin
- Initial contact and intake session: Your family mediator takes the time to explain the process, next steps, resources to gather, expectations, and how the session is framed and focused. During intake you can ask all the questions you’d like, and you’ll receive resource information to take away. You’re always welcome to get in touch before mediation with further questions.
- The joint mediation session: The session is legally required to be conducted in the best interests of the child. You and your former partner will collaborate on a plan or agreement that recognises this. Mediation has nothing to do with the issues between you and everything to do with the children impacted. It isn’t adversarial your mediator makes sure of that.
- Reaching agreement or next steps: By the end of the session, it’s expected you’ll have developed a plan that’s child-focused, workable, and realistic for both of you. Your mediator drafts the agreement and distributes it. From there, it’s up to you both to act on it.
If an agreement isn’t reached it isn’t a failure! What has been agreed on, in whole or part, is documented and your mediator will likely suggest a further session to help resolve any outstanding issues.
Step 2: Create Your Family Mediation Checklist
- Financial documents: For a financial or property mediation, prepare for full financial disclosure. Gather documentation for all assets, liabilities, and finances: bank and mortgage statements, valuations, superannuation balances, payslips, crypto statements, personal loans, car finance agreements the lot. These form the basis of the settlement, so having copies to distribute is wise.
- Previous agreements or court orders: If any court orders or agreements are currently in place that could affect the mediation (financial or parenting), make sure you have copies available.
- A written list of your priorities: Spend time working out options to consider in the session. Focus on resolving issues rather than win/lose. Think through your best-case and worst-case scenarios, and the ideas you’d be happy to consider. This applies to both parenting plans and financial agreements.
Step 3: Prepare Yourself Emotionally
- Stay calm and open to discussion: Pace yourself, use active listening, and take time to consider your responses before voicing them. Monitor your emotions throughout and if needed, a break is always available.
- Focus on the future, not the past: Family mediation is focused on present and future needs. The past isn’t there to be rehashed; it provides context, but as a separated couple that context has changed profoundly. You’ll be looking ahead throughout.
- Be willing to listen and compromise: Keep your focus on the children. Consider whatever is suggested seriously, weighing logistics, workability, likelihood of success, fairness, and equity.
- Use grounding techniques before the session: This is hugely valuable. We encourage clients to approach family mediation like a business meeting, and to visualise leaving their “baggage” at the door. We provide a list of suggestions to help you feel comfortable, confident, and positively focused.
Step 4: Know What to Expect on the Day
- In-person vs online mediation in Australia: Whether online or in person, mediation runs much the same. The beauty of online mediation which Resolutions Australia uses exclusively is that you’re in an environment of your choice, with your creature comforts on hand. Both formats allow for breaks, refreshments, private sessions, shuttle techniques, and open, honest communication.
- Ground rules and how the session runs: Beforehand, your mediator outlines expectations around communication, body language, behaviour, and focus. You’re expected to speak positively, examine current and future needs, avoid generalisations, and actively listen and respond. Your mediator will reassert these expectations if needed.
- How long a session typically takes: At Resolutions Australia our sessions run a standard 4 hours, and we can go longer if needed and clients agree. Our policy is not to schedule any further business on mediation days so if you need longer, you can simply keep going without rescheduling. A real point of difference.
- What happens if emotions run high: Family mediation can trigger heightened emotions. With appropriate preparation, the likelihood of feeling overwhelmed is significantly reduced. Your mediator closely monitors emotions in the room and can use a number of techniques to support de-escalation. You’re always welcome to ask for a short break.
Step 5: Understand What Happens After Mediation
- Parenting plans and written agreements: Once you’ve developed a parenting plan or financial agreement, your mediator finalises the draft they’ve recorded throughout the session and sends both parties a copy to sign. At Resolutions Australia we guarantee your plan or agreement within 24 hours. Then it’s time to act on it.
- Turning agreements into consent orders: This is a relatively simple legal process. Provide your family lawyer with a copy and discuss turning it into a consent order. Your lawyer submits the agreement to the Family Court, which uses it as the basis of the order. A consent order isn’t essential if your agreement is working and both parties act in good faith, it may not need to be legally enforceable. If you’re concerned the other party may not stick to it, a consent order may be the way to go. The choice is yours.
- Section 60I certificates if no agreement is reached: Sometimes, mediation isn’t successful. When this happens, your mediator supplies a Section 60I certificate a legal document outlining the nature of the unsuccessful mediation (not the detail). It can be provided to your lawyer and used in the Family Court to help inform proceedings.
- When a follow-up session may be needed: Follow-up sessions are common to finalise details, continue mediating outstanding issues, or review and modify what was agreed due to unforeseen circumstances.
When is Family Mediation Not Appropriate?
There are some reasons that family mediation may not be appropriate. Your mediator will usually make this decision after an initial enquiry conversation or following intake. The decision can also be made in mediation. Clients need to know that whatever the reason for not mediating or terminating mediation is, the mediator does not have to disclose this. This is for the protection and safety of all parties and the family mediator.
- If there has been family violence or if anyone has safety concerns, mediation may not be safe or appropriate.
- Sometimes one person holds power over the other. If this is likely to affect the session unfairly, mediation may not be appropriate.
- When one party refuses to take part which happens, even though attempting mediation is expected, the mediator will deem it inappropriate. If a party can’t be reached or refuses to engage, a Section 60I certificate is issued to the willing party, noting the other party’s refusal.
What are some Tips for a Successful Family Mediation?
A little extra preparation goes a long way. These simple, practical tips will help you walk into your family mediation feeling calm, focused, and ready to reach an agreement that works for everyone.
- Bring More Documents Than You Think You Need: For a financial or property mediation, bring everything. If it relates to your finances, big or small bring it. And bring copies.
- Write Down Your Goals Before the Session: Make a list. Think about your current and future needs, and picture your post-mediation “new normal.” Consider your best-case and worst-case scenarios. Write it all down well in advance, and tweak it as the session approaches.
- Speak in “I” statements, not Accusations: Family mediation isn’t about rehashing the past. It’s about the here and now, the future, and the children. Leave the negatives at the door and focus on your honest ideas, opinions, and thoughts about the kids and their needs.
- Keep Children’s Needs at the Centre: By law, the best interests of the children must be the focus. The relationship as a couple is over but the parenting partnership continues, and it needs to stay alive and thriving for the sake of the children.
How Does Resolutions Australia Help Me Prepare?
Your family mediation is a wonderful opportunity to look ahead. Through the ups and downs of a relationship ending, mediation is a valuable chance to do right by your children.
With that in mind, Resolutions Australia helps you prepare purposefully. Preparation covers all the documentation needed, documenting your ideas and options, and the steps to make sure you’re ready and feeling confident.
Read and discuss all the resources your family mediator provides, and ask plenty of questions. Remember that what you’re doing is to support your children to have the best possible future.If you’re ready to take the next step towards your new normal, please get in touch. The Resolutions Australia team is here to help.
FAQs
What should I bring to family mediation in Australia?
All relevant financial documents for a financial mediation, your thoughts, ideas and proposals to consider, and any questions you’d like your mediator to answer.
Is there family mediation near me?
Resolutions Australia provides online family mediation Australia-wide, so you don’t need to find a family mediator near you. You can take part from home, anywhere in the country — which removes travel, reduces wait times, and lets you mediate in an environment where you feel comfortable.
How long does a family mediation session usually take?
At Resolutions Australia we use 4 hours as our standard session, and we’re able to go longer if needed.
What happens if we can’t reach an agreement in family mediation?
Don’t see it as failure. Consider taking a week or two to reflect, then re-attempt. If it still isn’t successful, it may not be the path for you discuss next steps with your mediator or family lawyer.
Can I refuse to attend family mediation in Australia?
Yes, however this is usually not looked on favourably by the Family Court if your matter goes to a hearing. Not attending will likely lead to significantly higher legal costs and a protracted, adversarial battle.
Do I need a lawyer before attending family mediation?
No, however at Resolutions Australia we always recommend seeking legal advice when considering divorce.
