Framing Family Mediation
When first encountering family mediation it is easy to see its value as a positive aspect of the divorce process. It is child focused, seeks collaboration, and encourages resolution and the embracing of the opportunity to create a new normal for those impacted.
For most the process involves undertaking a mediation session to reach agreement regarding parenting, finances, or property, going forward. For some, family mediation can be utilised when needed to support significant longer term change in terms of ever changing children’s needs, the manner and content of communication between parents, the gradual development of empathy, and the restoration of a positive relationship between divorcing parents for the sake of the children.
Importantly, family mediation is expected. It is an aspect of the divorce process enshrined in law (The Family Law Act, 1975) and (except with a few exceptions) the Family Court anticipates that parties to divorce have at the very least, attempted mediation prior to seeking a family court hearing.
Mediating Once vs Ongoing Mediation
Differences in Time Within the Family Mediation Profession
Different spheres of the family mediation profession maintain differing protocols around the anticipated time frames for family mediation.
If deciding to engage with a not-for-profit organisation a client needs to be prepared for a protracted process in one sense and a potential shortage of time in another. To explain, due to the pace and workload of these organisations intake and mediation sessions are usually shorter in length (One hour for intake and just 2-3 hours for mediation.) This can make clients feel rushed, under undue pressure to reach agreement, and depersonalised. Compounding this is the lengthy wait to engage in the process. Following a quick call you may have to wait several weeks for an intake session. Then further for the other party to intake. From there it may be several more weeks (at best) through to months before the mediation proper actually takes place. So a lengthy process of short sessions.
Lawyer led mediation allows for a more appropriate time frame for the actual intake and mediation. The benefits of this include clients feeling more in control, and the mediator having a deeper understanding of the issues and dynamics involved. This more appropriate timing comes at a literal cost with the lawyer mediator charging at their lawyer rate. Exacerbating this is the difficulty in scheduling mediation within a busy legal practice. The wait time to engage in the process may be weeks or months.
Private family dispute resolution businesses, such as Resolutions Australia, want to see you as soon as possible. Our business has sought points of difference in this space. We guarantee a first phone call within 24 hours, and can undertake intake as soon as both parties have been contacted and accepted an invitation to mediate. Usually in less than a week. Couple this with the potential to mediate on the same day as intake and clients can have the entire process, from first call to the distribution of agreements, completed in a matter of a few days. A significant difference to other providers!
The component parts of the process, intake and the mediation session, are open ended. We’re able to conduct intake for as long as required and because we don’t schedule other meetings or appointments after the anticipated mediation completion time we’re able to continue working with clients if needed. In fact we’ve often worked well into the evening to ensure agreements got reached without any time pressure.
Longer Term Family Mediation
A number of clients who have utilised the family mediation process recognise its value as a longer term tool for ensuring a stable split family life. While family dispute resolution practitioners all use a facilitative approach it’s also possible to combine this with more educative and/or therapeutic approaches. Resolutions Australia have experts available to explore these options!
In effect split families have the opportunity to not just seek agreement regarding parenting, finances, and/or property but to use family mediation to establish bedrock skills to ensure split family life is stable and authentic. Issues and ideas investigated could include communication skill capacity building, how to self-mediate major decisions, maintaining appropriate emotional regulation during challenging situations, recognising how to integrate the voice of the child into decision making, or establishing a common parenting values base and language.
In using the family mediation process repeatedly parents are able to entrench positive skills through not just knowledge acquisition but actual engagement, that will see them better able to handle any areas of dispute that arise in the months and years ahead.
This recognition of the deeper value of family mediation is becoming more visible and popular as long term, negative preconceptions around divorce become less relevant for clients who are seeking to ensure the split is amicable and focussed on collaborative co-parenting.
The Family Mediation Process
First Steps
The first steps in the process are engaging and educative. Once a client has made contact they can expect a phone call within a few hours. At Resolutions Australia clients will be speaking directly with a family dispute resolution practitioner. Other providers may have reception or intake staff conduct the call.
The call will seek to discover the situation the client is in, gain contact details, and briefly outline the process.
Following this 10-30 minute call Resolutions Australia emails the client a swathe of information covering all aspects of family mediation. Other providers will do the same however the volume and quantity varies widely.
Often there may need to be several back and forth communications to support the client in understanding the process and questions are always welcome.
What is Intake?
Intake is the meeting between client and FDRP (mediator.) Typically this lasts 60-90 minutes. Each client engages with this individually. It is during intake that the mediator hears the client’s story, unpacks the relationship issues, and seeks information about how the client sees their future. It’s also an opportunity for the family mediator to outline mediation session expectations, enquire about making referrals for the client, and assess the client’s ability to engage effectively.
The Family Mediation Session
While many not-for-profit organisations only allow for 2-3 hour mediation sessions, private providers usually allow longer. At Resolutions Australia we allow for 4 hours with an open end to continue if required. We regularly facilitate mediations that continue for 5-6 hours
Breaks can happen whenever needed as client comfort is essential for maintaining a positive mediation environment.
Post-Mediation Follow-Up
Once an agreement is reached between clients the family mediation session concludes. At this point, depending on the organisation, the clients may be presented with their agreement. For many organisations the mediator will take the draft agreement and create the finalised copy for distributions the following day. Your agreement should be forthcoming as soon as possible after concluding!
Follow-up may also include providing information to clients and/or organising referrals. Again, this should happen as soon after the conclusion of family mediation. The goal is to ensure clients are provided with all they need in as timely a manner as possible.
Family Mediation Our Way
It is important for potential clients to recognise that the length of time taken for family mediation varies greatly due to a number of variables. Unfortunately these variables usually arise from the needs of the organisation and not the needs of the client.
Resolutions Australia is markedly different. We recognise that a one size fits all approach doesn’t fit all so we built in flexible timings. We saw that clients wanted a timely mediation without the stress and anxiety of, quite frankly ridiculous, wait times. We guarantee intake and mediation as soon as possible and at your earliest convenience. Lastly, and hugely importantly, we recognised the importance for clients of feeling safe, comfortable, and confident. And we mastered online family mediation to accommodate this.
For client driven family mediation we encourage you to take advantage of the solutions Resolutions Australia provides.
