Creating a parenting plan through mediation is one of the most common and most important undertakings in family mediation (family dispute resolution). When parents manage to do this successfully, the likelihood of an amicable, positive split increases significantly.
This step-by-step guide explains what parenting plan mediation involves, how it differs from going to court, the steps to follow, and a complete checklist of what your plan should cover so you can approach the process informed and prepared.
What Is a Parenting Plan Mediation?
Parenting plan mediation is a collaborative process where both parents, guided by a neutral mediator, work together to agree on how they’ll raise their children after separation. The result is a parenting plan, a written document that sets out parenting arrangements both now and into the future.
A parenting plan outlines what needs to be done, how it will be done, and the responsibilities each parent holds. It’s built around the identified needs of the children, with their best interests at the heart of it.
Parenting plans are profoundly useful for maintaining a strong parenting relationship beyond the end of a marriage or de facto relationship. Each plan is unique to the family it supports it can be as broad or as narrow as needed.
How is Parenting Plan Mediation Different from a Family Court Hearing?
There are several significant differences between a mediation parenting plan and a court-imposed outcome.
1. Collaboration vs Conflict:
In mediation, both parents work collaboratively to develop their plan. In a court hearing, the two parties are adversaries, each trying to secure decisions that favour their own view. That adversarial format doesn’t lend itself to a positive ongoing parenting relationship so the future for the split family is more likely to feature conflict, acrimony, heightened emotions, and mistrust.
2. Parents Decide vs a Judge Decides:
In parenting mediation, the parents make the decisions. They know their children best and are empowered to build a plan that suits their unique situation. In the Family Court, a judge hears from both parties (usually via lawyers) and then decides what they believe is in the children’s best interests. The parents are disempowered, and the decisions are made by a stranger based on the submissions they’ve heard.
3. Flexible vs Legally Binding:
Family Court decisions are legally binding, with consequences for failing to follow the orders. If part of a court order isn’t working, you can’t simply agree a change with the other party as you can in parenting plan mediation. Instead, the party seeking change must have their lawyer apply for another hearing to amend the orders, which can take months or even years.
How to Create a Parenting Plan Through Mediation in 6 Steps?
Mediation rests on two foundations: the best interests of the children are the top priority, and both parties act in good faith to identify and meet those interests. Mediation for a parenting plan is also a core part of divorce mediation, and a parenting plan developed this way is one of the most valuable outcomes of the whole process. With that in mind, here are the steps to create a mediation parenting plan.
Step 1: Agree to Try Mediation
The Family Court expects parents to attempt mediation before any litigation, so both parents should anticipate family mediation as part of the divorce process. Family lawyers and family mediation providers can both explain how this works.
Step 2: Choose an Accredited Mediator for Your Parenting Plan
Choosing the right mediator for your parenting plan mediation matters. You make contact with a family mediation provider, who gathers information about your situation. If mediation is deemed appropriate there are a few reasons it may not be, including evidence of family violence the family dispute resolution practitioner (FDRP) will invite your former partner to an intake session.
Step 3: Prepare for Your Mediation Session
Knowing how to prepare for mediation in a child custody or parenting matter is key, and the most important part is the intake session with your mediator. This is a confidential, private conversation between just you and the mediator.
The mediator gathers information about your family, the issues to highlight, your thoughts on possible pathways forward, and your best and worst-case scenarios. They’ll also give you a wealth of information about mediation, ways to prepare, referral details, and resources to consider for the plan itself.
Intake sessions are held with each parent individually.
Your mediator will encourage you to prepare mentally and emotionally, with a range of ideas and strategies to consider. They’ll note the steps to manage your ideas around the parenting plan and outline communication and behavioural expectations.
Importantly, your mediator is there to answer questions. Whatever springs to mind, ask leaning into mediator support is one of the keys to a successful mediation.
Step 4: Attend the Mediation Session
At the parenting plan mediation session, let the mediator facilitate the discussion. Having prepared well, you’ll be able to contribute your thoughts and ideas and have them recognised.
You can speak knowing you have the time and context to contribute, and that no interruptions will occur.
Step 5: Negotiate and Draft the Parenting Plan
As the mediation progresses, your parenting plan begins to take shape. Your mediator takes notes, asks questions, and identifies areas of agreement. They reality-test ideas, offer scenarios to consider, and document the discussion as it moves towards agreement. That documentation forms the basis of the parenting plan and by the end of the session, it will be ready to use.
Step 6: Sign and Store the Parenting Plan
Once the parenting plan is developed, your family mediator drafts and distributes it for both parties to sign. The mediator keeps a copy of the signed plan.
Parenting Plan Mediation Checklist
The following is a checklist of aspects of most parenting plans. These factors are the nuts and bolts of what positive parent planning involves.
Living and time arrangements
Which parent are the children with, when, and for how long.
Where will the children primarily live?
Is there a primary place of residence with one parent having greater time with the children. Where is this?
What is the regular weekly schedule (school nights, weekends)?
This includes the current (and potentially future) commitments the children have including school, sport, hobbies, community groups etc. It can also include expected bedtimes, routines, behaviour expectations, and child responsibilities.
How will changeovers be managed (time, location, transport)?
Who is doing pick ups and drop offs, what time, what if a party is running late or there’s an emergency?
What happens if one parent wants to relocate?
This can occur for a number of reasons such as caring, or employment responsibilities. How will this be navigated, what impact will it have on time with the children, how will potential changes be decided upon?
Holidays, Special Occasions and School Breaks
This includes managing time with extended family, holidays away that impact on the other parent’s time with the children, and things like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and how occasions will be managed in parenting plan mediation.
Education and Health Decisions
This can be significant as it impacts two central aspects of a child’s life. How will the children manage, make decisions, and address concerns should all be detailed.
Communication Between Parents and Children
Again, the how, when, and what of communication all matter and should be agreed.
Conclusion: Building Your Co-Parenting Plan Through Mediation
It’s easy to see just how much effort goes into a positive parenting mediation but a strong co-parenting plan, built through mediation, is well worth it for your children’s future.
If you’re ready to give your parenting plan after separation the focus it deserves, and to keep your children’s best interests at the centre, Resolutions Australia is ready to support you. Whether you need a standalone parenting plan or a divorce mediation parenting plan as part of a wider separation, get in touch and take the first steps towards a brighter future for you and your children.
FAQs
How long does it take to create a parenting plan through mediation?
Most parent plans created through Resolutions Australia are completed within a standard 4 hour mediation.
What if my ex-partner refuses to attend parenting plan mediation?
That happens occasionally. If the mediator has sent an invitation and the response is negative or no response happens then they will provide the willing client with a section 60i certificate that outlines the circumstances. This certificate may be seen favourably during future Family Court litigation.
Can a parenting plan be changed after it is signed?
Yes it certainly can as long as both parties agree. For significant changes we recommend re-engaging with your Resolutions Australia mediator to support your efforts.
Do I need a lawyer for parenting plan mediation?
No. The majority of family mediations Resolutions Australia carries out have no lawyers involved. If both parties agree then lawyers are able to be present however they are only able to advise their client and not contribute to the mediation. The additional cost is payable by the client.
How much does parenting plan mediation cost in Australia?
Great question! Private family mediation practices usually cost between $2000 and $6000. At Resolutions we’ve developed an online mediation model that enables us to charge just $1600. It’s accessible, timely, very cost effective, and has proven results.
